Yeah but did he get any of Matt Leinarts Seconds?

So O.J. Mayo may have taken 30 Grand worth of crap from some sports agency while he was at USC.  Mayo is declaring his eligibility for the NBA after one season with USC.  This is being linked from a potential source at USC (basically they "leaked" this because they did nothing wrong and are bitter at Mayo leaving).  This kid has learned nothing from his peers.  "Be Like Matt" should be the Slogan at USC. stay for as many friggin years as the school will let you, hollow out every freshman girl, and take all the illegal gifts as you can... the school will love you so much that none of these "potential sources" will ever get out about what you have taken. 

CELTICS

2-0 versus King James? I'll take it, I'll also take another pick of the Girl from the Hawks /Celtics game, naughty little girl.. Although I'm not sure what picture is sexier

The Celtics/Hawks Chick

Ah Yes, the famous girl positioned right next to Doc Rivers, poached with her sugar daddy.  Her name is Marie, and she is now one of our friends on myspace, Seriously can you blame the Celtics for the loss? its hard to jump for a rebound when you have to cover up the tent you just pitched. 

Chris Hansen knows Roger Clemens

Somewhere in 1989 Roger Clemens enters Mindy Mccreadys house...

Chris Hansen  (appearing from the kitchen): Hello, Please, have a seat. So Roger, Tell me what you are doing here?

Roger Clemens: umm, what?  No, No, I was just here because I like Mindy Mccready's music, yeah, just stoppin by.

CH: Really?  Then why did you bring a Mylie Cyrus CD and a copy of Armagedon?

RC:  No, Ya see, I was um, just, well, Mindy.. she needed a friend, I just came over to be her friend. 

CH:  Then explain why you told her that you were going to have her"be the Catcher" while you "were the Pitcher"

RC:  No, no... I'm a pro baseball player, I was gonna teach her the game.

CH:  I'm sure ya will

RC:  HELLYA! if there is grass on the field PLAY BALL!

CH:  Did you just say "if there is grass on the field play ball"?

RC:   What? no, you misremembered that. 

CH:  Roger, all the facts are against you, this looks like you were here for a 15yr old girl

RC:    uhhh, cucumbers taste better pickled

CH:  Oh, now your just making no sense, and stand up, there is blood all over the damn seat. 

Pacman to create rain in Dallas

Titans sent Pacman Jones to the Dallas Cowboys in a trade that has been on the brink for weeks.  Right, so a man with a Strip Club problem is suppose to stay clean with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and Chestica Simpson?  They should paint the field goal poles gold ... make him feel at home.

Well, Tell Frank to buy another Guitar...

Shaun Alexander was released by the most boring team in sports on Tuesday, 3 years after his monstrous 2005 season and his 62mil deal.  IN o5 he broke the (then) NFL record of 28 rushing TD's  for the Seahawks with pretty much 28 of the most boring TD's in NFL history.  Plus I get him and Tiki Barber massively confused. 

I heard Guitar Hero is a good way to pass the time...

Frant "big hurt" Thomas was cut by the Blue Jays.   The Blue Jays?  Clearly MLB let this story leak because last I knew they wanted American think that the Sox and Yanks are the only teams in the A.L East. 

Well it is the home of Coors Light

Weed lover, Carmelo Anthony, Of the Denver Nuggets was busted over the weekend for a DUI, swerving his Mercedes all over the road.  A weak performance if you ask me, only hitting one post of the Athlete Triple Crown: Booze, Hookers, and Drugs?  I thought you were special Carm, I thought you were special.

On ESPN...kind of...

(Barron) Well...I made the big time!!! After years of emailing ESPNers (such as Bill Simmons) I finally was recognized for my hard work.

This from Jason Sobel's live blog at The Masters: CLICK HERE FOR LINK

8:44 a.m.: First non-limerick e-mail of the day from Chris in Saratoga Springs,
N.Y.:
Did ESPN decide what you were wearing all four days of the Masters
much like Nike did for Tiger? What happens if Tiger's mother-in-law knits a
hideous sweater for him and says that she thinks it would look very nice on him
at the Masters? If this happens to you or me, we are obligated to wear it ...
how does Tiger deal with it? My guess is that he would send Stevie Williams to
yell at her.

First of all, yes, ESPN has selected my wardrobe for all four
days. This is my second-round outfit. As for Tiger, I think he puts the sweater on, waits for his mother-in-law to take a picture of him ... and then Stevie yells at her.
It's proper protocol.

Now this will get me to watch...

(Roc) Nascar driver (racer?) Aaron Fike said he competed in the Craftsman series high, on heroin....at 180mph.  There it is Nascar, want to bring in a more diverse crowd?  Hop these guys up on some good ol' Mexican Mud and I'll be first in line for tickets.   This years Daytona 500 brought to you by Roger Waters and  Industrial size rubber bands.

FORE!!!

(Barron) So there is this little golf tournament in Georgia this week called The Masters. It might as well be called The Will Tiger Win Another Invitational. Tiger vs. the field is even money....yes EVEN MONEY. If (when) he wins this year for his 5th Green Jacket he will begin his quest this year to win the Grand Slam. Out of the 93 other golfers only a select few have a chance this week.

Phil Mickleson: Tigers biggest "rival", would be great TV if they were close on Sunday.

Fred Couples: Always plays well at Augusta, but can he put 4 good putting days in a row.

Zach Johnson: Defending champ. Can his short game carry him again?

Rory Sabbatini: He won the Par 3, so he is out (no one has ever won the Par 3 contest and the Masters in the same year). Plus he is a real jerk and hates Tiger...would be good if he and Tiger were paired together.

Geoff Ogilvy: Playing great right now. Can he handle the pressure??
Sergio Garcia: He carried 2 putters in his bag a couple weeks ago...not a good sign.

Retief Goosen: He will always be in the mix...very solid. Can his putting stay hot?

Adam Scott: Ready to make the jump to Major Champion...could be his week.

Vijay Singh: His putter is the only thing holding him back.

Ernie Els: Can he pull his game together for one more run at Tiger?
Jim Furyk: Has the short game, but does not drive the ball far enough.


SLEEPERS:
Luke Donald: Loves the course and has the game...one of the great young guns.
Stuart Appleby: Bombs the ball off the tee...does he have the short game.
Sean O'Hair: The best young American hopefull...would be a great story.
Bubba Watson: Tons of talent and hammers the ball off the tee.
Ian Poulter: Has great game, is not afraid of Tiger, and wears unbelievable clothes! Plus if he ever did win the Green Jacket would clash with whatever he decides to wear.

Woody Austin: A hot putter could put this fan favorite to the top of the leader board.

Camilo Villegas: Young gun with all the tools...plus all the girls love him!!!

SUPER SLEEPER: Aaron Oberholser...has all the tools and could sneak up on people.

WINNER: Ummmm Tiger...duh

Vick plays football in jail... or maybe not

(Roc) First there was a story of Vick playing ball and being QB in jail, then there was a report from the guards that he never did.  Translation: Well he was playing football, except there was no football, and he surely was not the QB, but the center...... SET-HIKE.

Welcome Back, Mr. Buck-Nare

Great, This was simply great.

But wouldn't it be hilarious if the first pitch sailed between Dwight Evans legs?

Basketball Hall of Fame is for Dicks

(Roc) Everyone knows that Dick Vitale gets on my nerves, alot.  His meth addict enthusiasm and viagra enduced love for the ACC and Duke drives me nuts.  BUT, he is the voice of college bball, and he seems like a pretty decent guy... so I am cutting him some slack and its good to see.  Patrick Ewing and his nostrils, and Hakeem the Dream (because I can't think of how to spell his last name) also got in among others that I have either not heard about or care to look up. 

(Barron) Tonight's NCAA Championship Game features the "small college" Memphis taking on the quiet yet dominating Kansas. Not exactly what the NCAA or CBS was hoping for. No Love, no Hansboro, no Wooden and Walton vs. Dean and Jordan. What now? I'll tell you what...Derrick Rose...that's what. This kid will be the toast of the NBA draft in the next 20 years. He has all of the tools to become an All Star guard in the NBA. I have a feeling that this game will be over by halftime...a lot like what Memphis did to UCLA. With Rose leading the way with Chris Doulglas-Roberts tough to guard because of his versatility and Joey Dorsey completely dominating the boards they are going to be tough to beat. Don't get me wrong, Kansas is very good and deserves to be here. If they can knock down 3's and get Mario Chalmers going they could keep it close.
Ok, honestly the ONLY thing I like about Kansas is when Sasha Kaun is in the game...I can't believe no one has made a Chaka Kahn joke yet...you think Billy Packer will?? Gus Johnson had his chance...sooo disappointing.
MEMPHIS 78 KANSAS 60

Ya know what this game is? Boring.  I watched every single tourny game on tv, and will not watch a second of this final.  I never do.  They always suck.  Always.  I'm actually going to watch Dancing with the Stars instead.

Speaking of Gus Johnson: